General Question

SergeantQueen's avatar

How do you get used to people being nice without having other motives?

Asked by SergeantQueen (12874points) August 30th, 2022
11 responses
“Great Question” (1points)

My coworker told my dad I bought his sodas when I didn’t. It irritated me because my first thought is “What does he want?”

I know he was just trying to be nice, but I am not used to it even though it wasn’t directly affected/for me.

People usually aren’t nice to me or people I know without motives.

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Answers

RocketGuy's avatar

@SergeantQueen – sometimes people just want you to come out looking good. Maybe things were not looking peachy earlier.

Zaku's avatar

I’m really sorry to hear that your experience of people in general is that they aren’t nice to you or others without motives. That strikes me as extremely sad . . .

On the other hand, your co-worker telling your dad that you bought his (your co-worker’s? or your dad’s?) sodas, when you didn’t, strikes me as very odd, not because “it was nice”, but because why would he think to do that at all? Why would he think that was a thing to do (and to lie about) to be nice?

SergeantQueen's avatar

@Zaku He told my dad that I paid for his sodas, as in, my dad got free soda because I ”“paid”” for it. I didn’t.

That’s what really confuses me?

Forever_Free's avatar

Can you clarify. The sentence doesn’t clarify who you supposedly brought the soda for. Your Dad or your co-worker. Who is the “his” in this sentence.
Either way, it is more odd than nice.
There are genuinely nice people in this world. There are also people who do things with a baited hook. The difference between them are only determined in time.

Zaku's avatar

@SergeantQueen I’m confused why they’d do that too.

At first, my imagination wanted to suggest that your coworker somehow had the idea that your dad is the sort of person who is unhealthily obsessed with who pays for what, and perhaps wanted to get you a brownie point with him.

Now, my imagination is thinking maybe the coworker was just making a joke that no one got.

SergeantQueen's avatar

@Forever_Free I clarified it in the response above yours

Forever_Free's avatar

I suspect the co-worker knows they are for free. and it is just a little inside joke.

Response moderated (Spam)
SABOTEUR's avatar

There’s always a motive, but motives aren’t always necessarily bad. If you’re the type of person who continually looks for bad motives from people you’ll probably live quite miserably since people tend to find exactly what they look for.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

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