@amurican: OT – Off topic, you’ve edited your post now so it doesn’t matter. The original message was a complete non sequitur.
@gimmedat: Oh kiddo, there’s no need to ponder when you grew up in a house next to a trailer park in the south. You can just look at your neighbors. I’ve seen a worse hairstyle however. I don’t have a name for it, I called it the Scalp Oyster. Every time I rode the bus to work in FL there was a woman who would get on at my transfer stop. She was short and….squat. She always wore silk blouses and black stirrup stretch pants with a gold purse. Mismatched foundation, red lips, black penciled brows, and hot pink nails. You name the bad fashion trend this woman lived it. Anyway, her sense of ‘style’ and unfortunate polish choices were the least of my concern. Her hair was absolutely terrifying.
She had thin black hair, maybe 5 inches long from root to tip in any given area. Now, imagine you took you fingers and placed them where your ‘sideburns’ are, then move those fingers at a 45 degree angle to meet at the top back of your skull. This was her part. Yes, it was horizontal – and in the back. Now, from there she brushed the top half forward and plastered the bottom half to her head and neck, the only movement the hair ever saw was at the tips on both ends which she meticulously curled all the way around – flipping back towards the part. I mean every curled hair perfectly aligned with the preceding one. The reason I call it the Scalp Oyster is that it always seemed like an oyster had succumbed to the most awful kind of rigor mortis, the shiny hard black shell with a thin strip of pink squishy flesh in the middle, sometimes undulating with the rhythm of her head. I imagined I was witness to this particular sea creatures last spasms of death. I was very bored on that bus.
Every single day I saw this woman. And every single day I fought the urge to drop my water on her head when the bus hit a pothole. Every. Single. Day.
I always imagined her morning might be ruined but without the eyebrows and the crazy hair how many compliments would this woman receive? A few, a dozen, perhaps….with a change so great….millions?