I can relate. I’m a very introspective person. At one point I had myself convinced that I didn’t need people and that I would never change anything about myself to fit in or be accepted.
Then I realized that I’m a social organism just like every other human. I realized that I was only hurting myself by avoiding people. Not everything has to be absolute, belonging to one extreme or the other. You can have friends and be social and still maintain your individuality.
It’s not a choice between being a loner and being a social puppet. It’s learning to balance the two: sharing commonalities with a group of people in some way or another and still being an individual and staying true to yourself.
One of the bottom lines for me was that I had to learn to completely screw my comfort zone. If something was comfortable that meant it was familiar. And that meant that I wasn’t learning or experiencing anything new. You have to learn to stick it out through the awkward feeling of leaving your comfort zone.
Reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People” helped me a lot. It basically conveyed to me that you must show legitimate interest in other people if you want them to do the same to you.
I’m still a work in progress, learning how to be more comfortable with myself in new situations with new, unfamiliar people. I have, however, gotten better.
It makes sense why they’re called “social skills.” Skills are learned. With skills you progress. Sure, there’s a natural component to being social but ultimately everyone can be social. You just have to get out there and try it. See what works.
Good luck to you.