I’m fucking nuts. But I can live with that.

I’m very sane, thank you. However I’m also quite irrational.

I am crazy, but I guess it depends on how you define it.

I can’t give you any actual advice, but all I can say is that when I start to confuse myself, it helps to just write. You don’t have to give it a label (it doesn’t have to be a journal, or a diary), and you can even type it out on your computer if that floats your boat, but writing things out just help me get rid of some of the things I keep running in my head.

I never thought about it before, but I suppose my insistance that every last drop or speck of food must come out of the can or package when I’m cooking. I can’t stand to throw a can out with a kernel of corn left in it, and I rinse cans to get the last piece of food.

I also am crazy about keeping the towels, napkins and such folded with the corners touching straight, and not hanging at an angle. When I see something folded “wrong” it makes me very nervous.

Not crazy, per se. Silly, yes. Eccentric, sure. But not crazy.

If I ever visit a psychiatrist, I’d be s/he’d diagnose me with Paranoid Personality Disorder.

So yeah. I am crazy. I wish I wasn’t.

No, I am fairly confident that I am not. Doesn’t mean I don’t have quirks and am not eccentric sometimes and doesn’t mean that I don’t have some slight OCD, but I’m good.

how can you define crazy? To me crazy is normal.
Can you define normal?

Yup!

I feel crazy sometimes. When I get angry, it’s as though some insane banshee takes over my body and mind. I shake, and hear a distant roaring in my ears, but I’m usually so upset that I barely notice. When I feel this way, I find I know I ought to stop, but I don’t want to. So I keep myself angry. When I wind down eventually it’s due more to exhaustion than anything else.

On a slightly different note, I’ve also felt a bit off-kilter with everyone else my whole life. I often laugh out loud at things I think to myself, and twitch uncontrollably sometimes. So yes, other people know of my crazy.

What to do when crazy? Not sure yet. Smoking helps. I also train myself to become calm at the sound, and even the thought, of certain music. I keep this one particular track on this Celtic cd I have ready to spin in the back of my mind, and I play it when I realize I need to be less nuts. Pavlov takes the wild out of this potato.

I’m sure if I were to reveal the shitstorm of random ass stupid thoughts that pass through my head on a daily basis, “experts” might think so. However, as I get older, and start to finally figure things out, I’ve come to realize that it’s really the rest of the word around me that’s crazy.

Well, being called crazy by most of the people i know… yea i do think i am crazy too…
By crazy i mean very random, impulsive, will do anything and everything especially unexpected things… i dont know what i am thinking when i am doing them but all i know is that i am having fun… unfortunately the down side is that some people will misunderstand or i will end up putting myself in weird, or dangerous situations…
but i believe being crazy is what allows me to fully enjoy everything whether small or big in my life !!!
Plus, what is normal?? and who defines crazy??

Yes, actually, but only a little bit I made a joke to my boyfriend: Him- “Hey can you turn ya tv down? I can hear it through the phone.” Me- “I like it loud; it drowns out the voices in my head!” Then I laughed. He paused like he wasn’t sure if I was joking or not…I thought it was funny lol

You sound very very human and humans are all a little crazy. Make it up to your wife before you go to sleep talk to her about it and clear the air – that will be one less thing to worry about. Some of the most profound and honest people I have ever met would perhaps been deemed as crazy – as they are in the mental health services, yet in a psych ward looking out you see the people who really are crazy are the ones who expend so much time being something they are not in order to conform and appear sane and happy. Those people are driving themselves crazy with their double lives. Anyone who has ever stepped outside the norm has been called crazy throughout history and yet when their theories are prooved to be true or ideas turn out to be life changing, life enhancing even life giving and saving suddenly they seem to cross the line to become genius or atleast highly valued in society – but it took a lot of being called crazy to be redefined as genius. You are probably not crazy – as you can recognise you thoughts as thoughts not say commands or whatever. It is possible you are depressed or overtired and lots of people seek help for these things because they think they are crazy.

Maybe you just need a break. I tend to do the same hong after I’ve been working on something for a while. For example I ws working on a website and the tables wouldn’t align properly and I just got really annoyed and completley freaked out at the smallest things. Don’t worry about it though. You’ll soon forget that it ever happened.

I am crazy I guess and the right to be crazy/ridiculous is something I hold very dear to me!

“Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.”- Nora Ephron

I had a nervous breakdown once (@forestGeek no, not the Black Flag 7 inch). Other than that ugly episode many years ago, I’m pretty sure I’ve been relatively sane my entire life. From reading your posts in the past Daloon, you seem more self-conscious than anything else. You’re not crazy.

I think I’m sane. The opinions of others may differ.

@Bugabear Ha, I like your avy. I should start playing KoL again maybe.

well, i prefer to refer to it as being better than everyone else but…

Everyone is crazy, we have no control over our thoughts, we are just conscience of them. Sometimes you may think something you don’t understand, but thats just because you are under the impression that you can control what you think. Sometimes you may feel something you don’t understand, but thats just because you are under the impression you can control your emotions.

Control of yourself is an illusion. I am just grateful we are granted awareness of what we do.

That is the rumor going around.

I’m a maniac, maaaaniac on the floor

I embrace my madness and if anyone else doesn’t like it, that’s their problem.

If I decide I want to be socially acceptable (which is really what being normal entails) for a spell, I do like they tell you in AA, I act myself into a way of thinking.

But really I have reached a point in my life where I simply don’t give a damn.

I didn’t handle it nearly as well when I was young and before AA.

Yes I am. I’ve also been called Psycho many of times, but it’s all good =o)

This is only the second question I have answered!!! You’ll see in time ;)

I am crazy, and impractical (as my gf pointed out)… I used to be called pyro when I was little :s and Harvey Dent/two-face in high school because I had Bell’s Palsy 10 years ago (and this year too… ) and I am very sour and grumpy when I get sick… yes, I am crazy, but a good crazy!

I am crazy, but I have always been that way.
What it sounds like is you might be going thru a midlife crisis. I am 53 as well, and I understand how you might be feeling about life.
Find something cool to anticipate, and focus on it. For me, it’s my retirement home, and the next two Harry Potter movies.

I’m pretty level headed and grounded in reality. However, to quote the great Norman Bates, ”We all go a little crazy sometimes.”

Funny you bring this up because as of last night I have realized that I’m not as normal as I thought I was. I have so many issues I need to work on. I really beat myself up over it. But then my fiancé sat down with me and explained that just about everyone has some kind of issue. Everyone has those “I must be fucking crazy! What’s wrong with me?!” moments. So maybe we should all stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to be “normal” and just accept that nobody is perfect. Easier said than done, huh…

Clinical Depression (for me) manifests not as “the blues” or a general down feeling, but in short temper, feeling like nothing I do matters, etc.

As we get older and, often, less active, we produce less seratonin and that leads to CD. At the risk of sounding like a commercial, talk to your doctor about it.

He may not be quick to prescibe something, but can help point you in the right direction for self-recovery.

Many would think so: Aspergers Syndrome, depression, social phobia, OCD.

You know there is no such thing as crazy. It is not a diagnosis.

We are all pretty fucked in the head. How could we not be? We live in a fucked-up world.

Highly functional but fairly fucked up.

I think so- but I think it’s average to be crazy. Weird to be normal.

But what is boggling me is that you are volatile without knowing why. Somewhere in your un- or subconscious you might know…

Maybe you are just reallllllllly stir crazy. I have been through that…

I wonder if what you are describing is the cliché of ‘losing yourself’?

So do you ever think you’re crazy?
At one time I thought I was, always worried about my volatility and emotional swings. What I learned was I’m pretty normal but very sensitive to others which means if they’re emotional and moody then I tend to get in that space with them if I’m not paying close attention.

Do you ever mystify yourself?
Exasperate myself is more like it. I can be secure in something and feel filled to bursting with happiness and one weird detail or misunderstand can catch me off guard and throw everything into question. I calm down quickly, come back to reason quickly but it’s emotionally draining on me to have panic attacks. I need to write in a daily calendar in order to prove to myself I have more positives than negatives or else my brain will play tricks on me. Reading over a week or a month has a very settling and affirming effect on me but day to day can get rough.

Do other people notice?
If I let them, yes. My co workers pretty much think I’m the smiliest, happiest, sunshine ball there is. They get to enjoy my positive quirks. The people closest to me know I have my hard times when I’m feeling the struggle of learning new things, trusting new people and adjusting to a new lifestyle.

I have so much nervous energy that I’m shaking
It’s a bit after noontime out here but all last night and into the wee morning I was the same, stomach all messed up, my back stiff and achy with adrenaline, trying to lie still and not be a pest to my partner who desperately needs rest, healing and more positivity than I can lately offer. After a few hours of sleep, I’m surprised I felt so awful and it’s almost like it didn’t really happen, I feel sweet, kind and ready for a new day. This is frustrating for other people to watch and share in if they don’t know what triggers me or what I tap into.

I’m not quite normal—but in a nice way, I think. You mention that you are 53 years old and different “these days”. It might be an idea to have your hormone levels checked. Men also suffer from changing hormone levels and some of the symptoms you describe are familiar (I am a woman). Men also take hormone replacement these days.

@KitKat has a point about the male hormones. A co worker of mine is health nut and researcher, former body builder if I’m correct. Anyhoo, he swears by bioidenticals for people looking into taking hormones and he feels men over 50 shouldn’t be neglecting themselves as they go through changes too, similar to women.

I really try hard to not be! lol

Yeah I’m crazy and thats what everyone likes about me!!

I used to think I was crazy…but not anymore. I just turned 53 myself and suddenly…everything looks better, tastes better and I’m just delighted to be alive today. No longer do I get stirred up or feel like I’ve fallen off my horse. Plus, I can “let stuff go” real easy. Oh…I suppose that I should mention that I’m on a huge daily dose of Lexapro.

No not crazy, well maybe a little. lol

Hmm. Is it crazy to want to stop taking your meds? Is it crazy to believe you like depression? Is it crazy to want to run away from everything—abandoning your wife and children; not to mention your work? Is it crazy to know that actions are stupid and hurtful choices and still want to take those action? Is it crazy to be willing to hurt people you love? Is it crazy to refuse to go see your shrink or your therapist because you are just tired of that merry-go-round? Is it crazy to lay these things out in front of God knows how many people?

I don’t really think I’m crazy. But I do think I’m making crazy choices and that bothers me. I have an enormous desire to run away, and to be alone for a while (or bask on a tropical isle with a lover). Yeah, it sounds like a midlife crisis, I suppose.

I am so fucking sick of these pills. I don’t know why. Last time I was grateful for them. I wanted the pain to go away. I didn’t want to want to die. Now I don’t take that desire seriously. It’s just an opening into another kind of understanding. Maybe I bitch and moan and whine, but I also see things I never saw before.

My therapist says I have a self-destructive impulse. I don’t want to feel good, or have things going well in my life. I think that I like it when I’m manic and charming and interesting. I like being confident and able to people to do whatever I want them to. I don’t care if it comes at a steep price. Maybe most important, I like being myself—the good and bad selves.

Brave words, I suppose. I still am taking my meds. Ironic, too, because it wasn’t that long ago when I was aching to be back to my “normal” self. I thought my depressed and manic selves were the unusual ones. But maybe they aren’t.

@daloon Sounds like the meds might not be being effective right now?

I probably am. My head swims quite a bit with different emotions, and it seems to only increase as I venture into Academialand. By the time I am done, I will either have a really good grip on the rest of my life, or I won’t. Here is the lyrics to U2’s “I’m Gonna go Crazy if I Don’t go Crazy Tonight” (listening to the song helps mellow me out):

She’s a rainbow and she loves the peaceful life
Knows I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight

There’s a part of me in the chaos that’s quiet
And there’s a part of you that wants me to riot
Everybody needs to cry or needs to spit
Every sweet-tooth needs just a little hit
Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot
How can you stand next to the truth and not see it?
A change of heart comes slow..

It’s not a hill it’s a mountain
As you start out the climb
Do you believe me or are you doubting?
We’re gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight

Every generation gets a chance to change the world
Pity the nation that won’t listen to your boys and girls
‘Cos the sweetest melody is the one we haven’t heard
Is it true the perfect love drives out all fear?
The right to appear ridiculous is something I hold dear
Oh, but a change of heart comes slow…

It’s not a hill it’s a mountain
As you start out the climb
Listen for me, I’ll be shouting
But we’re gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I’ll go crazy if I don’t go crazy tonight

Baby, baby, baby, I know I’m not alone
Baby, baby, baby, I know I’m not alone
Ha, ha, ha

It’s not a hill it’s a mountain
Listen for me, I’ll be shouting
Shouting to the darkness, squeeze out sparks of light
You know we’ll go crazy
You know we’ll go crazy
You know we’ll go crazy, if we don’t go crazy tonight
Oh Oh
Slowly now
Oh Oh

Lurve to all the new faces! Welcome to Fluther!

Technically I am, but I’m mostly harmless.

I can pretty much guarantee it. I think I have a mild case of ADHD and Bi-polar disorder but have never been on medication. Also, it helps that I channel my “craziness” and can be very productive in cleaning, hobbies and school work.

@holden, hahahahahahahahahahaha good one.

@forestGeek You sound perfectly sane to me. lol

haha, i think im sane, but that doesnt say much

@daloon, I too find myself wanting to run away. I want to go someplace where the pace of life is slower, a more natural setting where it is possible to take in all the plants and animals. I would like to know all their names. I want to find people with whom I can gripe about how our industrial society is going mad, producing more and more useless things and destroying all that is natural and beautiful. I would like to abandon work that depends on words and involves speaking to computers and instead learn how to construct things that I can look at and take pride in. I would like to know how to build a house and run an organic farm.

@LostInParadise: Join the Peace Corps.

@JessicaisinLove – Self medication…with beer!

Crazy…no. But I am a pathological liar. Have I introduced myself…I’m Nucking Futs, so glad that all of me could meet you.

@Corporate_Avenger How do I really know if you are a pathological liar? You could be lying. ;)

@tinyfaery Ha!

@tinyfaery – Precisely!. You grok my dilemma.

I am nucking futz! But seriously, this question brings forth the Catch 22 of life! If you think you are crazy….you must be sane to be able to make that determination since a true crazy person would be incapable of rational thought. I may not technically be crazy but I a lot of people I know say I am. LITS to play it safe all the time!