Online Journal Entry.
Ok, I am sure that I have been accused in the past, but I really can’t remember if I have been accused of anything serious, if I ever do anything wrong I end up telling someone about it eventually because I hate keeping things on my chest, So here’s where I begin to tell my story because it always feels good to vent. and I am just mad, and typing it out gets it off my chest. No one could realize how one event could really get to me as this one has. Ok so I met this extremely nice lady through my brother in law back I think in 2007 or 2008. She was incredible for me exactly what I need because of the hard time I was going thru, and all she took me in for a few weeks because I had some trouble getting along with the girl whom I lived with at the time. She would buy me coffee almost every mourning, cook for me during these few weeks. I really began to establish a closer friendship with her, and it was nice because usually I do not connect with many girls, and I keep my friends down to a few. So in those few weeks and months I not only began to establish a nice relationship with her, but also her family I became attached to them. I began to love and respect them with my whole heart. Them being as her husband, kids, Mom, sisters. They were just so welcoming. Then time came for me to leave to go back to my hometown, then a few weeks after I was at the beach with my friend and her family, me, and my son when I received a phone call never in a million years thought she was going to ask me what she did, had no idea what so ever. She said I am just asking you not accusing you did you see some gold which I had never seen nor had nothing to do with. I told her no and we got off the phone. Well it started eating at me because I thought to myself wow that hurts that she would even think about me taking something from her. I would never hurt her because I cherished our relationship. I am not perfect and I won’t say I have never done mistakes, but taking someone’s things especially something of sentimental value. I would never do that. Why?? Because one it is wrong, and two I would not want someone to ever take something that was special to me. So I tried to plead my case over the months, and it literally ate at me. Because for one I didn’t do it, and two I felt as if someone set me up like they knew I was staying with her, and that I would be the first to blame, but here’s the thing I told her that I would take a lie detector test to prove my innocence, which till today I still stand on my offer. That way she could be at ease, and know it was not me. It would save a great friendship with many people, and my reputation would not be ruined. Its just not fair. Then she asked me to pay for it. Which there’s no way in hell I am going to pay for something that I did not do, if I was really guilty I would never volunteer to take a test come on now, but why show her the truth by paying for something I already know. You know it erked me because I tried to figure out in my head who may have been the one to do that, and set me up like that, and the thing was if we ever went back to being friends. I am till this day will never go back to her house again unless she ever changes her mind and we do the test. Why? Because I thought to myself what if someone tried to set me up again, and it really bugs me because I don’t know who all looks down upon me for this. It would be different if I were perhaps guilty, but I am not. That’s the fucked up part about it. Another thing hurt me is that summer I baby sat my ass off every week .I then came back there paid for one month of rent 700 dollars and was so excited because I felt accomplished and I fixed up the place and invited her over thought we were working on mending the relationship and really thought she was considering paying for a lie detector test which never happen. Was so excited cause I thought she was happy for me and wanted to show her my place she came over just to scope out my things and went back to my brother-in-law who came to me and my husband and told us now she really thinks you did it because you have all these nice things. She did not know me too good because I have always had nice things but she never saw that because when I went up there the first time I only packed for a few days, I ended up staying 3 or 4 months. Like seriously again it cut me and another thing is that if I did do it why would I invite her over to show her my things. Another thing my mom brought up to me is that her gold or whatever may have cost a lot but whomever took it if they tried to get rid of it probably did not get much out of it. The messed up part is I thought to even set it up and pay but I asked my mother and she she advised me not to because that’s wrong to and to make her pay. I mean if she had got all the people who thought I committed the crime to pitch in and pay for it. I would have done taken it, but instead I am always going to be frowned upon by her and her family. So I have learned that I have to let it go as hard as it is. At least I know the truth, people closest to me know I would never and did not do such a thing, and god knows. One thing I wonder, is that if the person that did do it to her is one whom convinced her the most it was me, and probably talked her out of getting the lie detector test, and/or told her to make me pay for it. Because they know that I told her I would not. Or that logically whom would pay to prove something that they know they did not do. Maybe one day she will realize this and be willing to pay for that test to mend something that was broken. Who knows….