We see the results (a pile of flowers, etc.), in the aggregate, but they are not an aggregate. Each item represents an individual, personal act by a single individual responding to an emotional prompting. I would not fault them for that any more than I would fault people for mailing a condolence card, visiting a funeral home, or making a memorial donation to a charity. If anything, I am comforted by how much heart people can show to strangers who have suffered a grievous loss. I think people don’t know how to express the feelings they have and so they simply follow a model that is already established.
Public tragedies—those that make the news—seem to elicit a public response. A highway fatality is going to get more news coverage than a death at home in bed. So is a senseless murder.
I think there is still a tribal impulse to acknowledge births, weddings, and deaths as events that affect the whole community. In a modern urban setting, really the only ones that are set apart for public view are sudden, violent deaths and some highly publicized deaths from illness, such as a child with a horrible disease.
@pdworkin, that is a fascinating take. You may be right, but it doesn’t quite sound a chord with me. However, I think the reality is that there are many reasons and not just one for all.