Dear Flutherites,
Sorry for my prolonged absence.
@Likeradar ?
@CyanoticWasp Let me be a bit more specific. A fifteen year old is not “ready” to marry, and immature. Therefore, their motives for seeing or dating people is generally temporal at best. If they become intimate, it is not “productive” (excuse the ironic pun), but destructive. It will increase the risk of STD’s, teen pregnancy, abortion, emotional hurt… Now, if you are talking about adults who are naturally thinking about “settling down”, I don’t have a problem with dating, that is, if you are going out to see if you are compatible…not just to hook-up.
@JLeslie What I mean by selfish is: If the motive for dating is only sexual, no thought of a lasting commitment, physical attraction, monetary attraction…
For example: If I asked a girl out on a date because I found her attractive, but I had no desire to marry or commit myself. That is selfish. Moreover, if I did things to please her to take our relationship another step further and have sex with her, but still no desire to commit myself to her. That is selfish.
When I was single, here is how I viewed women. “She is someone’s future husband”. I will treat her how I want other men to treat my future wife.” When I met my wife, my motives for seeing her were not purely selfish. She made me happy, but I also desired to offer her: security, commitment, true love (a Fluther discussion in of itself)...