Hmmm. I’ll talk before groups of people. I’ll state my opinions as forcefully and as strongly as I know how. I’ll work my ass off when necessary, sure, inside me, that I can do a job that I would find acceptable. I think that the things I say are generally a lot more informed than most people.
But, except for purposes of this question, I’m not going to say that. I’m also not going to consider myself a confident person—although I think I am. Why? Because I don’t trust confident people. I don’t think they question themselves enough. I don’t think they are willing to listen to others. In other words, I don’t think they are really confident.
I think a truly confident person isn’t bothered by being wrong, because they know it comes with the territory, and they’re willing to improve themselves. It’s the same with things like being masculine. I don’t think a truly masculine man is afraid to be seen as emotional or as wimpy or silly or foppish, because they don’t need to posture. They are truly confident of their masculinity.
I guess I think that real confidence does not announce itself. It just is. It’s a kind of fearlessness, but not the brash caricature of fearlessness. It is a smart fearlessness. An informed fearlessness. A willing to withdraw from the scene or even “lose” because it knows this battle does not have to be won. It has no machismo, but it does have grace and a respect for and curiosity about others, no matter how different they seem.
Real confidence is about service for others, not lording over others. Real confidence is humble. No one else will even recognize real confidence until it shows up, and it only shows up when it is truly needed.
Or not. ;-)