Social Question

Zone36's avatar

How do you fix a relationship after you tell someone you like them?

Asked by Zone36 (416points) February 6th, 2010
10 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

Recently I told someone that I liked them and of course they rejected me (otherwise I wouldn’t be asking this question…). But I still really want to be friends. We are not so close like best friends, but we have known each other for about a year. I still like hanging out and talking with them and whatnot, but since I’ve told them they are not the same.

When we talk her answers are short and blunt. And she doesn’t smile and laugh as much now. It’s only been three days since I told her, so maybe I’m jumping the gun.

Do you think time will allow things to settle back down?

And let’s say this awkwardness continues for a couple weeks or even a month. Is there anything I can do?

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Answers

john65pennington's avatar

If the chemistry is not there, its not there. if she is giving you short answers and not smiling at you, you can rest assured all is not well. your response to her, may have shocked her and she really does not know how to respond to you. if i were you, i would do this…....sit down and write her a handwritten short letter, expressing how you feel about her. she may have received mixed signals from you in the beginning. this letter will tell it like it is with you and your feelings for her. if her response is negative toward you, at least you will know where you stand with her and vice versa. good luck.

Blackberry's avatar

Try, in a mature way, if both of you guys even are, explaining that it’s not a big deal and you didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable and that you would love if the two of you could forget about it, and hopefully she’ll be mature enough to let it slide.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I would back off,do your own thing for awhile and see what happens.She is not feeling too comfortable with what you said so I wouldn’t push it…or date her sister…see how she likes that…maybe not just give it time :)

Janka's avatar

Tell them and act like it is fine with you that you continue being just friends, and then give her some room and time.

luvisinfinite's avatar

Isn’t that the point when you hang out with someone? because you like them? I would back off as well, just for a week, then make a small contact either asking a question or advice. See what happens from there!

PandoraBoxx's avatar

You could try writing her an e-mail and assure her of the fact that you really do accept the fact that she’s not interested in you, and you won’t ask her out again. Tell her that you understand that most girls think a guy will keep trying, and that you know she doesn’t want lead you on, but that it’s really okay to be herself around you.

marinelife's avatar

She is worried about leading you on or hurting you. So, talk about the situation frankly.

“Look, I know it has seemed a bit awkward since I told you that I liked you. But I respected your answer, and I really still want to be friends.”

Then just wait and see. Maybe give her some time before you just hang out like the old days.

Marva's avatar

Hi, basically, I agree with @luvisinfinite, but, maybe philiosophically, or practically:
Can it really be that you “like” someone but they don’t like you? Everytime I had a new realtionship it was either about two people feeling immeditae attraction to meet and talk and get closer, or the same, but in a non-romantic level.
The only times I found myself in a one-sided relationship was when one person was lonely, and had developed a “crush” thinking it could be the answer to his loneliness. Usually when love happens, it is a two-sided street.
Could you have told yourself that you had other feelings that might not really be relevant? because that’s definitly one way to create a dissonance in a non-romantic relationship….

bean's avatar

she’ll feel awkward about it, she’ll take it as a big deal. Slight chance she will believe or feel its not a big deal. Things are not going to be the same…. you’ll have to wait a while until she feels it’s not a big deal… or she’ll want to keep away.
sorry if i’m being too forward about it, but I definitely think that you will find some one else out there who will like you a lot, and you are sure to make plenty of new friends too.
I think if she feels awkward about it she doesn’t consider you a very good friend. She’s just being nice.
hope things are ok though <3

borderline_blonde's avatar

I have always felt awkward around male friends that I know want to be more than friends… it’s like you never feel that you can just be yourself because you always wonder when they’ll try to make the next move and you’ll have to hurt them again. Not to mention that you feel like they don’t actually want to be your friend at all, but are just using that as an excuse to get a date with you.

All you can do is tell her that you still want to be friends and hope she comes around. She might not, depending on how uncomfortable she feels. But hey, you took a risk, so you should feel good about it – a lot of people wouldn’t have the guts.

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