Abusive relationships are harder to get over. You become conditioned over a period of time to think about that person a lot more than a normal person. Every thought necessarily becomes wrapped around preventing their next explosion.
” I can’t do this, it makes him mad. I want to go somewhere but that makes him mad too. I better not wear this he says it makes me look fat. I want to buy this but he says I waste money and I’m stupid for wanting it. Last time I bought something we didn’t need he freaked out. ”
So yeah. You think about him when you’re eating, when you’re shopping, when you get up, and when you go to bed. He becomes the center of your world because he makes every single thing about him him him him. You get brainwashed and lose your sense of self. After a long time of this, when you break up there is a giant hole where he used to be. Who is your life going to revolve around now? It takes a while to fill up the gaping emptiness and out of habit you still think about him a lot. Don’t mistake that for love or missing him! It’s just you need to rebuild your life and there is an emptiness because for so long it was all about him.
You know deep down you can not fix him and he will never change. You’ve just been conditioned into a pattern of revolving your life around him and sacrificing your well being for him and that brainwashing hasn’t worn off. You need to rebuild your life, your self esteem, your entire schema, where he is no longer the center of your universe. It would be VERY unhealthy to go back to him. It is very normal though to have a harder time getting over such a person.