I was 19 and one of my college boyfriends’ father visited our summer rental (it was with 5 others and I had a floor to myself) and interrogated me. Well, more interrogated him as to why he’d be going out with a “someone” (that’s not the word he used, though) like me.
He asked me my age, what my major was and why didn’t I just get a job as a secretary or something and leave college for the people who should go. For a few moments I sat there, dumbfounded, as this man who’d never met people who looked like me in his life expounded on how disgusting, horrible and a stain on the American body politic people like me were and how we should all go back to “to the jungle”. All at once, I snapped and told him off. Now I wish I hadn’t, because I realized later on that that was exactly what he’d wanted me to do in order to confirm his opinion that black women were loud, obnoxious, sassy and argumentative.
Not once did the boy say anything to stick up for me or show me that he had my back. His mother did, of all things, but the man told his wife to “shut the f up,” and leave business like this to him, and gave his son an ultimatum, either dump me or get his money for college cut off. His mother took me aside and begged my forgiveness for her husband’s behaviour, told me that I was the best woman her son had ever dated and to please keep dating him because I was a good influence. But no. Once Pops and the Mrs left, I dumped the guy.