I have a couple of thoughts on this. In my life, my break ups happened because we didn’t work as a couple. Anyone my exes date after me is merely in search of someone who they do work well with. People are so different from one another, with all sorts of varying needs, desires, hangups, sensitivities, fears, you name it. Just because your needs and your partner’s needs don’t complement perfectly doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means that you weren’t right for each other. Every relationship is an opportunity for personal growth as well as a stepping stone to finding what you need and are looking for.
Secondly, you say these guys weren’t out to themselves and not gay when you were together. So, no deceit there and that’s something to feel good about. You may just be attracted to men with more feminine traits/brains (yes, I realize not all gay guys are feminine), something which I can totally dig and which is not a bad thing at all. If it’s true and you’re aware of it, it can help you find what you’re looking for.