@YARNLADY and everyone else who says to just thank her and move on and that you don’t have to take the advice, I ask you to not speak about that which you obviously do not understasnd. What the OP and I have been dealing with are mothers who are not displaying behavior that is meant to just help. Their behavior can be quite damaging. My mother interfered SO much that my husband told me I HAD to do something about it.
Her behavior was driving a wedge between my husband and me. And her behavior also caused my oldest daughter to completely pull away from me and to regard me as her inferior, because all she had to do was run crying to her Nana, and her Nana would take me to task, right there in front of my daughter. There was a lot more going on than her just “offering advice” or “giving her opinion”. She was completely manipulating my children and she was causing major marital problems for my husband and me.
When a mother behaves in such a manner, you don’t coddle her and tell her “thank you so much for helping me”, because that keeps her in the same pattern. With mothers like mine, and apparently the OP’s, you have no choice but to say something. Being in this exact situation so recently makes me feel deep sympathy for the OP, not anger or disgust that she’s unappreciative of her mother, like some of you seem to think.
Let me approach this from a different way, so some of you may understand. Let’s say that instead of your mother constantly interfering or berating you, it’s your child. Let’s say your teenage daughter keeps butting her nose all up in your business and telling you what to do with your life. Your daughter watches every move you make and makes clucking and tsking sounds and tells you you’re doing it wrong. Your daughter calls you every single evening and grills you over what you made for dinner and shows her disappointment in you when she thinks you made a bad culinary choice. Your daughter shakes her finger at you when she finds out you stayed up late last night watching a movie and tells you that you should have gone to bed much earlier for your health. Your daughter sticks her nose in your business SO much that you and your husband are beginning to have major problems. Your daughter goes so far as to call your creditors to make sure that you’re current on your payments. Your daughter complains about almost every move you make.
Now tell me the TRUTH. Would you just nod your head and say thank you and let her continue in that controlling pattern? Or would you look at her and tell her “I’m an adult and I’m capable of taking care of all these things, so back the hell off!”
I’ll say it again, because it’s very important that you understand this. If you have not been in this exact situation of putting up with controlling, manipulative behavior… mind you, NOT helpful advice”... then you have no place insinuating the the OP is tacky for being frustrated and angry about her mother’s “help”.