See, @CyanoticWasp, that’s the weird thing. “Smiling” on the internet. It must have something to do with my words, or my approach—more serious, or something—but whatever it is, it’s keeping people at a distance. It’s not like I decide to do this. I like people. I like learning things about them, but there seem to be periods of time when they just stay away, or keep it professional.
Other times, and again I can’t explain them, I seem to get into all kinds of trouble. I mean, it’s easy to find someone who wants to get more personal. Sometimes they come looking for me. As if I have a tractor beam instead of a force field.
The only difference I know is that inside, I am either open or not so open. But I swear I do not consciously change anything, and yet everyone seems to know.
I’d be fine with it, except I can’t consciously turn it on or off. It’s as if it has a mind of its own. “Nope, not today. Nothing personal today.” And then,, very occasionally, the force field is shut off and God knows what will happen. I guess there’s another factor. It was off when I was sick. It’s on when I’m not. But I’m still unaware of what I am doing differently.