Well, I always say I married my mother. My husband is a lot like my mother. I always felt both my parents loved me. My dad was kind of a lot of work. Always talking, always telling me business ideas. I kind of wanted to be left alone a lot of the time. I felt like he was a little too needy, emotionally needy. When my mom was on overload, I guess I was there. It was never weird, nothing sexual or anything at all like that. Probably a lot of people would view it as a nice thing my dad wanted to spend time with his kids, it was just that the time could almost never be just hanging out, it was always like an information overload and quiz at the end. Well, not always.
Sometimes when I am home with my husband I feel like I am with my sister when we were little. Very happy memories for me. We watch TV, and giggle, and eat favorite treats. It makes me so happy. My husband has a much calmer temper than my dad, much slower to raise his voice. It’s kind of like my home now is like my home when I was a kid, but better.
So, back to the question. Did my dad influence my relationships with men? I do believe my dad to be a very honest, reliable, responsible person. I think those qualities are very important in a marriage. I did date a guy for many years in high school who was not honest though, and I did not kick him to the curb very fast. So, maybe there is just some luck involved? I think women no matter how wonderful their upbringing easily have self esteem issues, and are raised basically to be loyal and emotional, possibly there are some hormonal components to that. I think if your dad doesn’t have integrity, or has an anger issues, or some other bad attribute that is really ingrained and obvious, then the daughter risks thinking and feeling that is normal, and repeats that relationship in her own romantic reationships. Added to that, maybe girls don’t want to believe their dad was crap on some psychological level, so if all men are awful, their dad was not a bad guy, but rather just being a guy.