Weird question for me. I know most people say you’re a virgin until you’ve had full-on sex, but it’s an arbitrary enough term (if you’re gonna define it as the breaking of the hymen, I lost my virginity to a surgical probe – ick) that I figured I could use the definition that felt more right to me. I considered myself not a virgin anymore after my first sexual experience, which was not long ago.
That first experience was uncomfortable. I had a lot of reservations about doing it. Mostly unreasonable reservations related to my health. I didn’t feel confident that it was safe for me to be doing because of health problems I have. But this was my usual health paranoia, because my doctor said it was completely fine. I felt really upset the next day.
It wasn’t too long before I warmed up to it, though. Then it was awhile longer before I felt ready to “go all the way.” When we finally did, that was… oh jeez that was kind of sucky too. I ended up crying because it hurt, even though I didn’t have a hymen (we did not realize quite how essential lube was) and also out of embarrassment over my body, again because of how my health problems have affected it. I felt so bad for doing that. But again, it was just the one time that was troubling. Things are going good now.