Absolutely. I went to school with plenty of kids whose parents pushed them hard. They needed to be perfect not only in terms of education (grades test scores, participation, extra curricular activities), but they enforced the way that they dressed, their manners, etc. These kids were stressed as hell. While some of them managed to turn the experience into a positive (one such friend is now attending Yale’s school of medicine), others burnt out quite fast and do not have a healthy or stable relationship with their parents or perspective of self-worth.
My parents pushed me, but they learned when not to push me. They would confront me about poor grades, but learned in middle school that telling me that “they know [I’m] smarter than this” is not going to make a change. Instead, they tried to learn why my grades were less stable and give me encouragement and support, while still trying to convey that they know that I’m capable of improving.
I had one student crying in my office on the first day of class. She was terrified of my syllabus and the workload of all of her classes. She was just a freshman, but her parents were pushing her hard to not only take a full load of classes, but to also join a sorority and work part-time. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I’m so thankful she took my suggestion to seek therapy on campus, because the pressures she felt from her parents was detrimental to her health.
I want parents who care and want to be involved in the lives of their children, to provide endless encouragement and support. But sometimes the pressure is more than the child feels comfortable revealing.