Dark blue. So here’s a stupid story.
A while back it was raining and my roomate lent me her umbrella, which was beige. Went to a bank machine, then had to go talk to a teller inside the actual bank. I forgot the umbrella at the bank machine, and only realized this while walking out of the bank. This took like five minutes, and when I went back for the umbrella it was gone. It was a broken down piece of shit filled with cigarette burns (don’t ask me how that worked out) and some of the little metal rods used to keep it open were broken, or missing.
And someone still fucking took it. I mean what the hell. So since it wasn’t mine, I decided to replace it by buying another. I looked in like seven stores and there were no umbrellas anywhere. I’m thinking to myself, why, is it because it’s raining? Everybody’s buying umbrellas now, and there are none left? What kind of ass is this? And Target fucking sucks, they didn’t have any. They’re supposed to have everything. Well all I saw were oversized red shopping carts that look like they’re filled with air, because they sort of have this outer round shape. And with those prices, how the hell do I ever need a cart that big? I’ll never be able to fill it up, unless I was a millionaire, and if I was, I sure as hell wouldn’t be shopping at that damn place.
I was hungry, tired, wanted to go home, but noooo, had to get an umbrella. Finally found one in a drug store. It’s dark blue, and has a little case you put over it when it’s closed. I call it the condom, because that’s what it looks like, minus the chamber on the tip.