You’re ugly.
I’m not ugly, I’m a mirror.
If that’s not funny, then I got it from a friend in high school.
When Medusa looked at you, SHE turned to stone!
I went to the post office and I saw you on a Least Wanted poster- it was put up there by your parents.
Your self-proclaimed excellence is surpassed only by your humility.
Your leopard-skin pillbox hat balances on your head, just like a mattress in a bottle of wine.
I blame Roberto Zimmerman for that one. ;-)
Your Tinder nickname is Swiped Left.
I heard you got rich by selling your body odor as a fly repellent.
Oh yeah?! Well the Jerk Store called, and they’re running out of YOU!
Is there any greater wit than the effortlessly extinguished George Costanza? ;-o
I ran you over with my car, because I didn’t have enough gas to go around you.
I discovered how the zombie hordes were defeated- they starved to death when they tried to feast on hordes of you.
Even though your breath smells like Trump’s ass, you still couldn’t get into Mara-a-Lardo!
Brian is finally done crapping a reply.