I think that over the years I must have kept a subliminal list. As years cruise by, I get more accustomed to what can actually harm me, and what is nothing more than empty threat. What affects me as highly stressful now is when I get sucker punched by something new.
That much doesn’t do much to answer your question, but I want you to know it is possible to get over lots of things along the way.
I think that ignoring something is more harmful than helpful. One way I face something stressful is to make a relationship. I pretend a particular problem is an imaginary “friend”. I confront it like it can hear me. I treat it like it has feelings. I first have a one sided conversation. I declare who I am, and how it makes me feel. Then I abuse it thoroughly. As I do, I imagine it get smaller and weaker. When it is basically a whimpering three year old, I show no mercy. I send it out to fend for itself. Ha! I win.
Of course, not everything can be dealt with that way, but helps with gaining strength for facing other issues. When you have a situation you have to take action with, you can still confront it, tell it off, then form a list of who could help you fight it. For instance, if you have more bills than you can afford to pay. You face the bill monster, tell it who you are, and say, hey, I am going to call the office, and see if they will accept partial payments until I can get back on track. Ha! You didn’t expect me to think of that, did you. That helps you build strength. Then you search for who might help you find solutions. The important thing is to begin by knocking that issue down to a manageable size. If you need to, pace the room, raise your voice, and give it hell.
It might sound nutty, but it works for me with most things. If it works, I’m sticking with it.
Nightmares can be pretty upsetting, because it comes from inside one’s own head. But that is an advantage too. It is that much easier to ridicule, and overcome.