@raum, Wow, that’s an interesting way to look at it. But you are right. I knew a guy when I was young who was way bigger and stronger than me who did several favors for me. Not really because I asked but he insisted. Then I thought okay, but when I started to figure out that he may have a crush on me, I told him it’s not necessary to do any favors for me because I would still like him as a friend. He then told me he wanted to be my boyfriend and I told him I could never see him more than a friend. He then accused me of using him and started to get physical when I tried to get away from him. That is when I got angry and terrified of him at the same time and told him he was hurting me and I would never date anyone who thought it was okay to hurt me. He had gripped my arm so tight he left a bruise on my arm. After that I not only didn’t trust nice guys, I also never dated anyone that was too tall or a guy that was overly built. But yes, he felt that being nice to me entitled him to be my boyfriend. Also, he knew my father had recently passed away and I was having a hard time dealing with that and I made it clear I wasn’t interested in dating.
@Jeruba, I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes being nice is like being checked out of living. I know someone that was that way for most of his life. It’s like nothing matters. Did your guy resist or just went with the flow of breaking up?
@Forever_Free and @rockfan, Yes, people pleasers often seem insincere.
As for the bad boy, I never was really interested in them either. Most of them were just selfish jerks. I liked the guy who was confident and stand up for themselves without needing everything to be about themself and their wants. Someone who could be nice but not checked out and who wasn’t afraid to tell me who they really are.