A lobotomy. And about $20k.

The same thing the last ten years. To lose weight and lower my cholesterol. Oh, also to find a house both my husband and I like that isn’t a fortune.

By the way graduating from school and trying to figure out what job/career to pursue and trying to get adult life on a kickstart is typically extremely stressful for most people. Feels like stumbling around. It sorts itself out. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

To feel that my sister truly loves me.

Nothing. I am good.

Peace. Peace, peace, peace. On earth, or if not that, then just at my address, please. And yours.

@JLeslie I wish you luck on that. You can do it!!
House searching seems hard… Especially finding a nice affordable one. That is tough

I agree with you that it is stressful. Have barely slept past week. Nightmares and just restless sleep.

@product tbh I do not know much about Lobotomies other than the negatives. If I may ask, how come? I have only heard bad things but maybe science has changes. 20k would be amazing

@smudges I hope so too. I know that feeling. I’m sorry.

@RedDeerGuy1 I am glad to hear!!!!

@Jeruba Yes please times 1,000.

@SergeantQueen most people don’t get jobs that utilize their degrees. I sure didn’t. But it looks good on a resume. It shows potential employers you know how to finish something.
Don’t lose hope.

Now what would it take to get you a driver’s license?

@Dutchess_III

Well bugging my family for 2 years barely did much… Got some time in, though.

I do not want to spend $$$ on the driving part of drivers ed but I may have to…

I still need a new car but I barely drive with Covid.

Also, This may sound dumb, but thank you for reminding me that this is normal for adults just graduating to experience this stress. Made me feel a bit better.

@KNOWITALL How do you shop for cars? Car dealers, side of the road, online?

@SergeantQueen You, yourself have given me a gift in your own way. I didn’t tell you, but I was worried when you were gone for about 6 weeks. I know you feel that you have a long way to go, but I can tell you’re feeling better and it does my heart good. Thank you continuing to try. It’s not always linear, but it does get better.

It is not always linear. Thank you.

I am so quick to remind others “its not always linear” but I expect that from my own process.

Add that to my list

“Stop constantly expecting perfection. Bad days are normal and healthy”

Yes they are. And rejoice in the good days.

A decent place to live.

Well…we have a 5th wheel @anniereborn.

My two front teeth!

@janbb My two front teeth are crowns. So I am good. I walked in to a metal railing as a teenager at a baseball game.

There’s always room for money.

I need nothing for Christmas. If I need something, I buy it. Some of my friends agreed this year that we wouldn’t exchange gifts, which makes me very happy because I don’t need anything and now I don’t have the stress of having to buy them something.

Actually what i need is for the Vietnam Vets to come do a pickup of clothes that I have here to give away.

@SergeantQueen: I’ll give you a brief summary of my career. Bachelors in History. What do you do with that? As part of that, I was an intern at the local archives. Friends who worked there told me “you need to take civil service exams.” They explained how to go about it. They said take exams for things you qualify for. Having a degree opened doors in that regard. For the government, I started out making 26k in 1996 and then, because of my degree, I got a job as a caseworker in 200 (same employer). Has nothing to do with history, but the job required a degree, any degree in anything. Also, while i was working, I became a union activist/shop steward. When my friend became the union President, she offered me a job. The last ten years of my government career was as a union representative, full time, and then I became their Treasurer. The government job gave me a pension. So I didn’t plan any of this, but I meandered down this path, starting with the internship in 1993, and part time job, from that, and then got hired full time in 1996. Retired 2021. Voila.

@jca2 I currently work for a good company that has a lot of good opportunities. It is totally unrelated to my degree and doesn’t even require one… But I want to stay for a while and see what doors open up for me like they did you. Were those exams testing you for what careers would fit you? I am a bit confused on the civil service exams.

I should look into something like that. I like where I work though and want to pursue it a bit more… I have spent a few years in food service and I do love it, but was never passionate enough to consider it a possible career.

But I kind of want to take the same path as you, and see what opportunities I can find. I am trying to be a bit more proactive to get those opportunities, but I would rather just see what happens over trying to force myself into a career for my degree, if that makes sense.

Also, because I am graduating, I cannot be on parents insurance I believe starting 2023. So not a “Let’s panic right now” type thing, but I do need to address it at some point

@SergeantQueen: A civil service exam is for a civil service job Civil service is also known as being a public employee, meaning an employee who is employed by the government – either town, city, county, state. They post the exams and each exam has specific requirements as far as what experience and education they require applicants to have. If you don’t have the specific requirements that are listed on the exam posting, you can’t take the test. Usually many people are taking the tests at a centralized location, like a high school, on a Saturday.
Then when you get the test results, you’re put on a list, known as a canvas list. You’ll receive documentation telling you exactly where you rank on the list. When the job is open (when they need workers in that specific job), they will canvas the list, and you’ll get a letter saying “do you want to interview for this job?” You respond, they set up an interview, and you go for it.

May I suggest you take a break from your life and do several hours of volunteer work?

Thank you so much for that link

I am going to consider that once I get a car!

@jca2 ooooh okay. I have a criminal justice degree. I’ll see if there is anything similar for that

@SergeantQueen It depends on circumstances but usually I buy a certified used off the Toyota lot.

Peace on earth and goodwill to men. In reality, not just the usual hot air issuing forth from someone’s pie hole.

@YARNLADY Thank you for that link! I’d like to volunteer, but didn’t know how to begin. There’s too many confusing sites. This one is perfect!

What do I NEED for Christmas? Nothing comes to mind. Maybe to live more like Christ, loving even my enemies. That is a hard one to wrap my head around so I guess the understanding would be what I NEED.

@SergeantQueen You sound amazingly like I was when I was 20. I was working a job that paid me enough to support myself in an efficiency apartment, and to pay my way through some classes at the community college. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I wanted to be a chef but couldn’t afford to send myself to culinary school. On a fluke, I went to the military recruiters to see if they would pay for me to get culinary training. In the end I became a naval nuclear technician. It gave me the education and training for mostly a life-long career.

But understand something…very few people actually work in a field they love. Most people work for money that will allow them the life they think they want. Some people get into fields they love but there are parts of every job that are just depressing. So I helped to split atoms and turn turbines for more than 30 years. But in my off-time I learned to cook quite well.

Cut yourself some slack. Take some time to figure out what you like. Experiment with some things if you want. Want to try survival living? Calligraphy? Learning sign language? Experience life. If you have to work a job that isn’t your dream, put up with it so you can support your REAL life. And if it becomes too much, find another job you might like more. I am finding that just because you have a degree in one field doesn’t mean you are useless or undesireable in another.