@jca2 What is the definition of “getting over your grief?”
Excellent question. I’ve asked that frequently in therapy over the years. “How do I know if I’m over something – like pain?”
I came up with my own answer; I don’t know if it’s a good one, but it makes sense to me:
When you cut your arm fairly severely, it goes through a healing process. In the beginning it’s tender and raw. At some point there’s a scab. If it gets removed before it’s ready, it’s still attached and hurts. It’s tender again, but not quite as much. Eventually it heals and leaves a scar. When you look at the scar and think about how it happened, you can remember how much pain you were in. The scar reminds you of the pain and you may wince at the remembrance, but it doesn’t cause physical pain again.
I view emotional healing similarly, except sometimes the pain lingers for years. Sometimes the wound never fully scars over. I tell myself, “That’s ok. My body and mind are doing what they’re supposed to do. It’s not fun, but I’m getting there.”