General Question

RayaHope's avatar

How do you handle someone that stares at you?

Asked by RayaHope (7448points) January 13th, 2023
33 responses
“Great Question” (5points)

Like when at the gym, sometimes there’s a guy that might be looking for far too long and that makes me feel uncomfortable if I’m by myself.

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janbb's avatar

There was the old classic line (if you have the nerve to use it): Why don’t you take a picture, it will last longer?”

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

The Google told me to stare at his feet. I don’t know if it is helpful or not?

I am sorry that this guy is creeping you out. I would ask a supervisor for assistance.
I would search for female only gyms and/or times.

I usually get stares because of my height, and toddlers usually stare up to my head and topple over. I’ve been groped while volunteering at bingo, and I don’t like it.

Being 6’5” 292 lbs people don’t stare at me, unless they are panhandling me.

Zaku's avatar

I tend to look back at them, and assess them. But then, I’m a larger guy, so the situation tends to be different than what you’re talking about.

Many women though can shut down most guys by looking back. For example, with a critical eye that also communicates they are not going to put up with misbehavior. Also, many guys are not really up to sustaining eye contact, especially with someone who has no problem maintaining eye contact.

For another example, I once did an eye contact exercise, in a course, with a guy, just giving him kind attention and presence, and he broke down into tears in seconds.

It really depends on the people, and evaluating people and figuring out how to relate to them (even just in the scope of eye contact) is a skill to develop.

chyna's avatar

Moon them.

LadyMarissa's avatar

Look at his crotch & giggle!!!

I usually find the direct approach as my best defense. Look him in the eyes & say…STOP being so creepy.

RayaHope's avatar

@chyna I think he may love that. Wait, NO WAY!
@LadyMarissa I don’t even know what I’m looking at.

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gondwanalon's avatar

Just ignore the creep and concentrate on your workout.

When I’m at the gym I keep my eyes to myself and concentrate on why I’m there. There are a lot of beautiful women that wear skin tight tights that I never give more than a very quick glance.

I see a lot of the same guys at the gym. When I make eye contact I just say hi usually. I don’t like to say anything that might be the jumping off point to a lengthly discussion. That happens a lot to other people. They’ll get caught up into talking sports and or politics that goes on and on. I don’t have time for that. It takes me 2 hours to get through my standard routine. And that’s just one of 3 workouts on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

JLeslie's avatar

If he’s making you uncomfortable I’d ignore him or possibly move if it’s not very inconvenient for you.

Or, you could let him know you see what he’s doing by looking at him quickly and then giving him kind of a furrowed brow, like a no way in hell, and go back to your exercise.

Some men are aggressive and believe all women want to have sex with them. I don’t know what you wear, but some men read into certain clothing as women are on the hunt for sex, so just beware. When you are around a guy that possesses both of those qualities it’s not good. You probably know that already.

He might be a nice guy just trying to see if you respond, I’m not assuming he’s a bad guy.

seawulf575's avatar

Stare back…direct eye contact…for a few seconds. Follow this with a slight shake of your head. A little eye-roll might help too.

RayaHope's avatar

I’m kinda awkward towards what to do about guys because I don’t want to say the wrong thing or make them mad or lead them on in any way. I’m still a little shy about this stuff.

jca2's avatar

I’d just ignore him.

SnipSnip's avatar


I ignore starers. Sometimes I give them a funny face like stick out my tongue and cross my eyes.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

I smile, nod, and maybe give a little wave.

Often, a person isn’t staring at me at all, but simply staring vacantly. The individual’s lost in a thought, not focusing on anyone or anything, and I happen to be in the line of that gaze.

Sometimes, a person is, indeed, watching me. When the reason’s good—maybe appreciating my clothes or hairstyle—s/he will respond in a friendly manner. If the staring is hostile, the person immediately becomes embarrassed and looks away.

smudges's avatar

You and your mom talk about everything, why not ask her?

RayaHope's avatar

^^ I did and she said to stare back. But that creeps me out even more.

smudges's avatar

I hate confrontation and it makes me nervous, but in this case I’d give them a frown for more than a couple of seconds. If that didn’t work I’d either speak to an employee or go to a women only gym because women often encounter that sort of thing at coed gyms.

RayaHope's avatar

Most guys at the gym are okay but every once in a while you get that one creep that seems to stare a little too long. I don’t know if he just has bad manners or don’t even realize he’s doing it. but I just move on to something else or if it does get bad like if he starts to follow me around then I’m gonna tell someone.

smudges's avatar

^^ There ya go!

kritiper's avatar

Shoot spit wads at them.

RayaHope's avatar

I do that in school. lol!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Ignore him until he quits.

Poseidon's avatar

I don’t get girls staring at me anymore but when I was a young and presumably a good looking guy I did on occasion have a girl staring at me.

I agree it is very unsettling but I discovered a way to stop them from staring and it was actually quite simple.

If someone started staring at me I simply stared back at them at the same time.

This unsettled them in the same way the fact that I was being stared at unsettled me.

I found that those who stared at me stopped and they never stared at me again.

seawulf575's avatar

Most people get uncomfortable with direct eye contact from strangers. This includes those that stare at you. As @Poseidon just said, if you stare back they will look away.

RayaHope's avatar

I caught a girl a few years older than me, staring at me today at the gym and strangely I wasn’t worried? I finished what I was doing and went to go over and talk to her but then she was gone and I didn’t see her again. Not sure why I wasn’t weirded out

LadyMarissa's avatar

@RayaHope You don’t have to know what one looks like in order to make him feel uncomfortable & rejected. He doesn’t know that you don’t know!!! Maybe this will give you a laugh.

RayaHope's avatar

LOL! @LadyMarissa I laughed so hard I got light headed! :D Even the guy she got to talk to him didn’t understand! LOL!!!

NoMore's avatar

I never get stared at. I’m too ugly and mean looking.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I bought myself a wedding ring and wore it while single. A little wave and it kept most away.

RayaHope's avatar

@NoMore Please don’t stare at me. (jk)
@KNOWITALL Good idea, not sure if that would work for me.

NoMore's avatar

You really know how to hurt a guy @RayaHope ; )

RayaHope's avatar

I’m sorry I didn’t finish my sentence, ..and come on over and talk to me. :)

NoMore's avatar

@RayaHope Kust kidding all good. Busy trying to talk my whiney ass boss out of making me work tonite I’ll try to catch ya in a while : )

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