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KmiberDWZ's avatar

Is this normal to feel this way?

Asked by KmiberDWZ (141points) August 30th, 2023
8 responses
“Great Question” (4points)

I sometimes cry about my older sister’s JRT (Jack Russell Terrier, her name is Lia) dog more often and I miss her (she, Lia, passed away last year) so much. But here’s the thing, I cry as if she’s the only dog friend I ever had (we had a close bond and considering Lia was my sister’s first dog) even though I know my sister has other dogs (to whom i love as well). Not to mention Lia is cremated and is in her little urn in my house as we speak and I know that she’s still here but at the same time I also know that she’s… well… I’m not sure how to put this but, not here walking around, sitting on my lap so I can pet her, but anyway. (Haha, getting a little sentimental here my bad!) So, when I cry about Lia I feel a little guilty for crying about her more often as I do remember that my sister’s other dogs are still here living. And I’m wondering if this is normal to feel this way about passed away loved ones. I really appreciate your answer! (^^)

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gorillapaws's avatar

I think your feelings are totally valid. I lost my Golden Retriever about 5 years ago (or something like that) and I still remember him fondly and cherish his memory, despite adopting a new dog about 1.5 years ago. I love my new dog, but also miss by Golden, I think that’s normal and ok. Dogs have such unique personalities that it’s natural to have some you have an extra-strong bond with. I’m not a licensed mental health professional, my opinion is just that of a random guy on the internet who has some exposure to mental health through a few undergraduate courses and some time in therapy.

I would suspect that a professional would only be concerned with your feelings on this if it were interfering with your daily activities. If your grief for Lia’s passing was distracting you from being able to enjoy your life, make new happy memories with other pets or prevent you from meeting new people and going out in the world, then I suspect a mental health professional would probably encourage you to seek professional help with your grief. Absent that, I think it’s nothing to be too concerned with.

I’m sorry for the loss of your four legged friend. They do live on in our hearts and memories though.

YARNLADY's avatar

I’m sorry for your loss. I have also felt a great loss when my dog passed away several years ago. I don’t openly cry, but I miss her a lot.

Blackwater_Park's avatar

Sometimes you just bond with a dog like you would a best friend. I have seen it happen to my sister and it took a long time to get over. I’m feeling this way currently with our last dog that we lost a couple months ago. Still not over it and I doubt I’ll ever find one like her. I have had plenty of dogs in my life but this last one was very special.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I am very sorry Lia is no longer able to sit in your lap or way a tail. I send you my most heartfelt condolences.

You are grieving. It’s completely normal. Lia was a part of your family. Take all the time you need to grieve this loss.

KNOWITALL's avatar

No one can put a time limit on grief but I would urge you to try to train your mind to think of something else. Compartmentalize it so you don’t get depressed but allow yourself to grieve, cry, a time of your choosing. For some people, empaths or sensitive people, being happy is a daily choice. We control our emotions not vice versa.
And there are medications that can possibly help, if you are struggling right now.

smudges's avatar

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but really, it’s a sign that you have the ability to love. Most people do, but not everyone. There are tears in my eyes as I type this because I know what you’re feeling. I lost my two kitties over 10 years ago. When my mind is quiet, like when I’m waiting for sleep, or happen to be talking with friends about our animals, I can find myself going down that road of grief. I can still easily cry for all of my animals, even the gerbil and guinea pig that passed away when I was less than age 12. The pain lessens, but it never goes away completely. You’re normal and you have a kind heart. <3

smudges's avatar

I don’t know how to link questions here, but if you look to the right side you’ll see a Related section. The last question under that is “Does the memory of dead pets still bring a tear to anyone else’s eye?” posted by @KatawaGrey. You might find some comfort there too.

maybe someone can link this in case it doesn’t show up on your page

MrGrimm888's avatar

Perfectly normal.

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