By ‘growing up’ I’m assuming that the definition has to do with being under 21, aIthough we do continue to grow after that age, by then we’ve learned a lot about pain and how to deal with it. I believe that growing up is inherently painful because we’re growing and learning. Examples: who has never had their feelings hurt by a friend, parent, schoolmate? Who has never had their pride hurt when taken down a peg? Who has never been called a name? Who has never had someone they cared about break up with them? Never had unrequited love? Never been laughed at? Ever seen a 2 or 3 year old get lightly tapped on the hand and told “No”? Most will burst into tears while trying to breathe. That child didn’t get it’s feelings hurt?? On the most basic level it’s a loss of innocence, which leads to internal pain, which then leads to learning.
I say bullshit to the thought that all of growing up is simply education and we cause our own pain by not simply accepting, learning and saying, “Oh well, that’s the way the ball bounces!” If someone has never been hurt in the process of growing up, I question their ability to feel emotions.