Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

What are the personal consequences of hook-ups at parties?

Asked by wundayatta (58722points) November 10th, 2009
27 responses
“Great Question” (0points)

I’ve never hooked up with anyone at a party in a once-and-done kind of experience, but I did have a girlfriend go upstairs with the host, so I know it happens. That sucked, to say the least. It wasn’t that I minded her hooking up with someone; it was that she did it right in front of me! Rubbing my face in it, so to speak. Our relationship did not last long after that.

Have you had the experience of hooking up with someone at a party? Could you give us some idea of the events leading to the hook-up?

What did it mean to you afterwords? Were you happy about it? Was it easy to forget? Did you never even think about it? Were there any consequences of note to you, personally?

Did you have another relationship at the time you did it? If so, what were the consequences of that hook-up, either to you, personally, or to your relationship?

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Answers

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

No. Not that I can presently recall anyway.

oratio's avatar

Yes, and I am ashamed. I try to not to remember it. It was crazy.

Judi's avatar

I came of age in the 1970’s, does that answer your question? And I have spet the last 30 years trying to forget!! Those years were not my proudest moments.

OutOfTheBlue's avatar

When i was younger i used to be very sexually active, i believe there was a few times when i had sex at a party, like i said those where my younger days though and nothing im proud of.

Val123's avatar

@Judi I came of age in the 70’s. Don’t have to worry about trying to forget, because I don’t remember any of it anyway!! But I am 100% certain I never had sex with anyone at a party, and I never went home with anyone from a bar, either, for that matter.

JONESGH's avatar

Hooking up is extremely common now. I’ve done it, I don’t regret it, but I would never do anything while in a relationship with someone else.
It’s usually not a big deal. Consists usually of hanging out with a girl at a party, trying to find out if she’s interested, and if she is you usually end up hooking up. No big deal, no strings. Just harmless fun, well harmless most of the time.

Judi's avatar

Hey, did you change the question?

CMaz's avatar

I was the guy that always went home with the girl that my other friends liked and wanted to meet.

What can I say. They liked me better.

Never anything negative came from it.
Except that sometimes that one night stand wanted to have another night.

smack's avatar

oh god, you have no idea… i get very promiscuous when i’m drunk, and i can’t even tell you how many times i’ve hooked up with someone at a party. not just in private, either – sometimes just blatantly out in the open, in the middle of a crowded room.

i’m not particularly proud of it, but it does make for some funny stories. and some awkward encounters the next day in the university cafeteria…

OutOfTheBlue's avatar

Was the question changed? seam like it was to me but i am in xanax and pain killer land.

Judi's avatar

@Val123 ; I am glad you had better judgement back then than I did! I think my bad judgment coincided with my bad self esteem.—

OutOfTheBlue's avatar

@Judi I think bad self esteem has a lot to do with the basis of why it happens in general along with no self respect + being young = does stupid things! Please don’t take that the wrong way :)

Judi's avatar

@OutOfTheBlue ; I can’t take it the wrong way because it’s true. All that was 30 years ago. I have forgiven myself.

wundayatta's avatar

@all: the question got modded. It was said that this was appropriate only for the chat room. I think the mod apologized if I read her correctly (which, given my people skills, is by no means a slam-dunk), but by then, it had been rewritten, and that is the story of that. I think it says pretty much what it said before, but I’m not sure. Perhaps the emphasis has changed? Oh, I know. I left out some of the more salacious details of my story.

CMaz's avatar

“It was said that this was appropriate only for the chat room”

There is a chat room?

Judi's avatar

@daloon ; I think it started “Have you ever….” that’s why my answer doesn’t make as much since. Oh well.

mclaugh's avatar

I have hooked up with someone at a party. I was really drunk, but I still remember all of it. The whole night this guy was just throwing me looks and being “touchy”, he would take my hand or put his hand on me whenever he could. By the middle of the night, we decided to head back to the house(the party was outdoors) and we hooked up in the garage. lol. It wasn’t the best experience of my life, but I was smart about it(we used protection) so, no, I don’t regret it. Actually, I never really regret anything…I think there’s no point in regretting things you can’t change.

lostinyoureyes's avatar

It’s really common and I don’t understand how people do it. Why would you want someone to think you’re that easy? Do you actually expect people to respect you afterward? You could be hooking up with someone that could easily be diseased. You don’t know their history, if they’re in a relationship, or what have you. It’s all so primal. I can’t respect someone if I know they do this and is proud of it. Sorry.

broncosgirl's avatar

I’ve done it twice. Once, I hooked up with a guy at a party and he became my boyfriend for years afterward. What can I say, one night was all it took :) The second time I made out with some guy at a party, and I don’t regret it because I SO needed to have one wild night since I am very conservative normally. Wouldn’t do it again though :) Alcohol was a factor in both haha!!

mclaugh's avatar

@lostinyoureyes Well you can’t judge if you’ve never done it. I never said I was proud of it, I just answered the question that was asked and said that I didn’t regret my actions, because I never regret anything I do if I can’t change it. It’s your loss if you can’t respect me based on my “sexual activity”. If you’re here to judge then you shouldn’t be here at all. And about the being easy thing…The guy was just as easy as I was, that’s how I look at it. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, therefor, I didn’t mind being “easy” as you put it…maybe I did just want to “hook-up”, that’s not being easy in my eyes. Everyone has needs and everyone finds a different way of catering to those needs. Next time, think before you write.

lostinyoureyes's avatar

@mclaugh – I wasn’t directing that comment towards you. I put it in ‘whisper’ because I just wanted to put in my two cents, even though I wasn’t answering the question asked in this post. I understand people make their own choices. I just can’t agree with this decision that they make. It’s not like I hate people who do it. I wrote what I wrote knowing someone may disagree.

xzlslazcarter's avatar

sounds like you wanna have one night stand, dude, just don’t be shy and find someone who is wasted and hook her up,, lol

gtreyger's avatar

@smack Hey, I am throwing a party soon! Want to come over? LOL

smack's avatar

@gtreyger ha ha ha ha, very funny.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I certainly have, mostly while intoxicated at various levels. I have few regrets, though. Most of them have been at bars, rather than parties, but I’ve done both. I’ve gone home with a range of people, from the bartender to (and I’m completely honest and serious here) a priest. I get flirtateous when I drink and I’m out, already working at having a good time, so it becomes no-holds-barred for me. Maybe it’s not the best decision always, but it has taught me some valuable things.

Generally, I’m very aware of the fact that there’s little to no emotional connection between myself and the guy I’m hooking up with, and I’ve come to be accustomed to that. My qualms regarding that, if they ever existed, have long since been quelled. I’m usually happy about what I’ve done, but there have been exceptions. I only forget things unintentionally, usually a result of the alcohol, and I will sometimes think back on them, but they are rarely of much importance. I figure I’m only young and single once; if I’m comfortable with what I’m doing, I’m going to do it, and I’m going to be safe and smart about it. That’s my number one concern. I have no problem doing thesee things myself, and I have no problem with other people doing them, as long as people are safe and smart. That comes with any kind of sexual encouner, though.

avvooooooo's avatar

Well… sometimes you get the most notorious whore in the entire school mad at you because you’re seen publicly making out with the guy she just broke up with that you never knew she was involved with in the first place. The hook up came later, the make out was as far as that went that night. I had to stop because my ride was there and I had to drag my friend out of a truck cab by her ankle because she was doing much the same thing. :D

KatawaGrey's avatar

When I was a freshman in high school, I went through a period of time where i was doing some hooking up. Almost none of it was planned and only once did it happen after a party. I had a few rules that I followed that kept anyone from getting hurt. Two of them were that there was to be no intercourse. We could do everything else but there would be no actual penetration. I would also only hook up with people I knew and trusted.

On this night, I went to a friend’s party but got there towards the end. I knew all of his roommates so we all hung out afterward. Then his roommates went to bed and we were hanging out in his living room. We were both sober. He seemed nervous at first and I told him we didn’t have to. He changed his mind though and we had a good time. Did I regret it? Absolutely not. I was very attracted to him and while I hadn’t planned on anything happening, I certainly wasn’t going to stop it. Were things awkward after? Yeah, a little. I had no problem with what happened but he avoided me for about a week until I cornered him one day. I asked him what was up and why things were so damn awkward between us. This seemed to snap him out of his awkward feelings and we’ve never had a problem since.

So, I guess the personal consequences can be loss of friends, getting diseases, babies, all the normal risks that come with sex. I suppose loss of self-respect is also possible but that is a personal thing.

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