When we become very attached to someone emotionally, most of us want to hold on to that person, to try to keep them from disappearing. In fact, you can place the burden of your life and happiness on the other person. Who would want to let that go?
But people want to be free. If you hold onto them when they seek to go away for a little while, they can feel like you don’t trust them. They can feel like you are too clingy; too enmeshed, and the more you hold onto them, the more they want to break free.
So, counter-intuitively, the best way to keep someone bound to you is to unbind them. Let them go where they will and they will return. Keep them tight, and they will pull away.
It reminds me of something Sun-Tzu said: keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. By this, I think he means that you always want to know what your enemies are doing, in case you need to take action. You trust friends, so you don’t need to keep such an eagle eye on them.
Love is freedom. Hatred is prison. If you love someone, you will let them go. You only keep your enemies held tight.