As I already said above, I think the issue of performance does not trump the issues of empathy or humanity. That said, I’m unconvinced that parents who abuse their children in the way that “tiger moms” do are actually getting greater results out of their children.
My parents were involved with my life, but never tried to control it. One of my neighbors, however, controlled every decision her daughters made. Not to be immodest, but I was top of my high school class, top of my college graduating class, and made it into a competitive graduate school. My neighbor’s daughters were average students all through their academic lives, neither went to her first choice college, and one tried to commit suicide.
They’re both doing okay these days, but neither is particularly outstanding. Now, perhaps I’m not particularly outstanding either at the end of the day. Past performances aside, perhaps things have evened out as time went by. I’m fine with that judgment, and it’s probably accurate. Still, that would mean that our parents achieved roughly similar results with very different amounts and kinds of effort. And unlike the daughters, I don’t resent my parents.
So really, which outcome was better?