So, obviously there’s a lot of buildup and history regarding sex for people. What if it was any other subject, would you all feel the same?
I don’t understand how someone who has a) decided they want a monogamous relationship and b) has decided they don’t want a sexual relationship or want it exclusively on their terms is any different than someone who makes a decision for both partners in any other area of the relationship.
If I suddenly decided that I didn’t want a wife that worked outside the home, that would seem archaic and I’m pretty sure wouldn’t find broad support here. Regardless of my upbringing, regardless of my culture.
If my wife and I decided that together, that would be a different story. But if it was a mandate from me, I’d hope she’d laugh in my face, and start the discussion from there.
If I decided I was moving to Pittsburgh, or loved cocaine, or wasn’t going to work any more, those would all be “my decisions”, but I gave up that kind of autonomy when I married someone. Now I would need to make those things work within the framework of our relationship if I really wanted them.
Why is this different? We all have “marital duties” and responsibilities in our life, we all oblige others everywhere we go for people we claim to care about a lot less. Opting out of sex is definitely keeping control of your own body, but if you love and support the other half of your relationship, shouldn’t that include the sexual portion of them?