In my family touch was, and still is, another kind of communication. I learned to appreciate it when words failed to carry enough of the joy or sadness in the moment. But outside family and intimate friends we all have & need some kind of boundaries.
So what are mine? I’m female, and not ugly so I accept that sometimes men (and women) will make physical contact either consciously or unconciously as a way bonding or difusing tension. I’m also a girljock who grew up playing sports and got used to all the body language & rituals that go along with it. So I’m okay with touching hands, pats on the back, high fives, an occaisional hand on my shoulder, etc. It just doesn’t bother me if it’s brief and fits the mood & context. BUT – frankly speaking I’m also a sexual person who enjoys intamacy with people I’m attracted to and trust. And I don’t think that makes me a slut, it makes me an adult.
Really that’s my standard: Treat me like an adult, and like a human being. I’m not a toy. Respect that I’m not always feeling what you feel. I’m flattered when people notice my hair but it’s not public property. When in doubt ask. Just ask.
And be nice. It’s almost a quaint attitude lately, but it matters a lot.