Social Question

chyna's avatar

If you were dating, what would be a deal breaker?

Asked by chyna (48223points) 1 month ago
38 responses
“Great Question” (10points)

What would it take that would make you refuse to go on a date with someone or something that you found out that made you stop dating them?
A guy I had gone out with a couple of times told me he didn’t smoke. Oh but occasionally he had a cigarette with a beer. Turned out he drank constantly, therefore he smoked constantly.

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janbb's avatar

Being QAnon or any variety of far right. Halitosis. Failing health. No sense of humor. Mean-spirited. Dull.

But wait, there’s more…....

jca2's avatar

Drinks too much would be a big one. I understand that different people have different definitions of what that may mean.

In the past, I’ve gone out with smokers. Now, I would not prefer it.

Someone smoking a joint on occasion would not thrill me but would not be a deal breaker. However, if they were smoking it every day, it would not be for me.

Someone who has health problems where they had a lot of trouble ambulating or needed oxygen or anything like that, would not be for me. Waddling around and huffing and puffing, not for me. I’m no athlete but I would want to have someone who could at least keep up with me.

zenvelo's avatar

Any tobacco use at all is a deal breaker. Same with racist or orientation prejudices.

I could date some Republicans, but not very many.

eyesoreu's avatar

If she was in any way fake or shallow, self righteous.
That & huge feet, big turn off, don’t want to date Miss Sasquatch.

jca2's avatar

Personality wise, I don’t like pretentious people, bragging people ,and I don’t like people who put negative labels on people. My friend’s husband will say things like “stupid liberals” which I could not tolerate in a boyfriend.

elbanditoroso's avatar

I can deal with almsot anything but religious nuts and republicans.

Both of those would mean that we have fundamental differences in outlook and philosophy.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Not being out. Homophobia, transphobia, etc. Tobacco use. Being a Republican. Racism. Being an evangelical Christian. There’s more, I’m sure.

canidmajor's avatar

Being chronically, and unapologetically, late, for starters. I find that to be indicative of a huge lack of respect, which then spills over into all aspects of interaction.

kritiper's avatar

Is she older than me? Does she have children? Is she a drunk? Is she a total Jesus freak?

RayaHope's avatar

A smoker would be a deal breaker for sure. But some guys are so “handsy” and Nope I don’t like that, creepy.

hat's avatar

I’m married, but politics/values compatibility were always critical. I wouldn’t let a Republican in my house, never mind date them. It always puzzles me how people are 10 years and 3 kids into a relationship when they suddenly discover that they have incompatible values.

filmfann's avatar

Someone who is unfaithful.
I have dated unfaithful women several times. They were all trying to prove to themselves that they were desirable (usually this was a concept enforced by their fathers).
The first one I just put up with. Major mistake. I was severely mentally abused by it.
The last time (no, wait! The last 2 times!) I dated someone like that, they cheated, then admitted they knew that was a deal breaker for me.

rebbel's avatar

8 feet and rising.
In closet and out of the closet racists.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Drunkenness. Hard drug use.

Forever_Free's avatar

As your example states, lying or misleading is a dealbreaker.

Demosthenes's avatar

I’ve met some “self-hating” gay guys before, the kind that say they’re glad I seem like I could be straight rather than being an obvious “fag”. Not interested in those types.

Politics is meh, the main thing for me would be being anti-LGBT, but see above.

Blackberry's avatar

Showing any aggression towards waitstaff or people in what they consider “crappy” or “lower” jobs.
Saying things like “I can make a mess because they pay someone to clean.”

jca2's avatar

Physical aggression toward anyone, and verbal aggression/abuse are definite no-nos. Referring to other races or genders or different abilities or sizes by negative terms is another no-no.

Dutchess_III's avatar

The kind of guy who says “I’m the kind of guy who… ” that tells me he’s a disingenuous liar.

Rick says “Language,” which made me laugh.
I said “Like liberal use of the F word?”
He nodded and I had to laugh again. He used to use the F word all the time!

canidmajor's avatar

Well, I guess I won’t be dating Rick, then. I am unapologetically foul of mouth. :-)

Dutchess_III's avatar

Huh. I would never have thought that of you @canidmajor!
To be fair, he didn’t develop that distaste until he met me.

flutherother's avatar

I think I could forgive everything if she were charming enough.

gorillapaws's avatar

I could never be with an unkind or outright cruel woman to other people. I’m pretty laid back about things, but that’s a dealbreaker.

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

Glad those days are over for me. But in the day, I’d have said excess religiosity, for one thing. Religion is ok but I could have never dealt with the Holy Roller, Lordy Lordy, speaking in tongues hogwash. Or women who wanted to get too serious way to fast. Knew too many of those types in the day.

mazingerz88's avatar

Don’t read books. I married one though. Because I’m an idiot.

JLeslie's avatar

Liar, cheater, thinks it is funny to fool people.

Daily drinker and anyone who feels they need to drink to have a good time.

Physically abusive.

Hates television.

Thinks being in debt is normal (not including a home mortgage) and doesn’t understand how interest works.

This one is for @mazingerz88, anyone who thinks people who don’t read books are all somehow inadequate or stupid. I rarely get through a book, and books mostly feel like homework to me. Not that I am assuming @mazingerz88 thinks less of her spouse, I assume she just finds it frustrating.

RayaHope's avatar

Someone that smells and has horrible hygiene, in general, would be an instant turn-off.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah @Rayahope! Oh for real.

cookieman's avatar

My list of dealbreakers is so long, I’m sure I’d skip dating altogether.

If my wife ever left, it’d be porn, comics, and cookies for me.

smudges's avatar

Almost everything already mentioned, plus an animal hater/abuser, and probably a hunter.

rockfan's avatar

This may sound a bit shallow, but believing in astrology is usually a dealbreaker for me.

gorillapaws's avatar

@rockfan Not really that shallow. Astrology is kind of a litmus test for a person’s critical thinking skills. When I hear that, I start to wonder “what ELSE does she believe in?” I’m sure there are plenty of amazing women who happen to believe in astrology, but it would certainly raise the caution flag for me.

seawulf575's avatar

After I got divorced, I had three criteria I was looking for in a woman I wanted to get serious about. Was she capable of rational thought? Could she face reality without the aid of pharmaceuticals either legal or illegal? Did she want to be with me for who I was or for what I could give her? Surprisingly that eliminated MANY women in the dating world.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Bad in bed/low sex drive, no sense of humor, cruel to animals or humans.

syz's avatar

Maga. Probably Republican. Evangelical. Racist. Homophobic. Misogynist. Lack of intelligence. Lack of humor.

syz (35788points)“Great Answer” (9points)
raum's avatar

Hey, it’s Syz!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yay Syz!!

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