@gorillapaws actually there is a well known formula – the TSA (tongue to surface area) algorithm. It goes roughly like this:
T = length of tongue multiplied by width of tongue
this gives you SA (surface area) but not all of the tongue can be used. The issue is the number of tongue taste receptors, and those decrease with age.
A 25-year old has roughly 100,000 taste receptors (100%)
A 45 year old has 80,000 80%
A 65 year old has 65,000 65%
so you take TSA * TRP (Taste recepter percentage) for starters.
Then you have to look at the Tootsie Pop itself. Grape tootsies take more licks than orange tootises. Chocolate take more licks than grape.
So you need to assign each color a numeric lick value:
chocolate 86
raspberry 83
grape 79
orange 58
You don’t need quadratic equations to know that
NL (Number of licks) = (TSA * TRP) * Lick value