Social Question

bob_'s avatar

Have you ever made an effort to reconnect with someone?

Asked by bob_ (21933points) February 22nd, 2023
32 responses
“Great Question” (9points)

Why (or why not)? Did you succeed? How did you do it? How’d it go?

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Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

A friend since elementary school to high school. I called around with people that had the same last name. Then I asked them to give me a head of the family’s name. The one with all of the phone numbers saved. I told them my story, and they got in touch.

JLeslie's avatar

I assume you mean someone who I have lost complete touch with and had no contact information to speak of.

Yes, more than once. It went very well. The two people I can think of off the top of my head we became facebook friends, and eventually traded phone numbers, and hopefully I will see them some day.

People who I had phone numbers and just hadn’t been in contact in a long time, that also has gone well. I send a text or call and they answer right back. I have had people reach out to me in the same way. The latest was several months ago, my exboyfriend (from 35+ years ago) texted me after not communicating with him in over ten years, because he thought he saw an old neighbor of mine at a football game at our high school. I guess his son attends high school there. We texted back and forth for about 30 minutes, like it was completely normal and usual. I was surprised I had his number in my contacts.

Dig_Dug's avatar

Yes I have and no not yet :(

Dutchess_III's avatar

Hey bob_!
I’ve thought about it, made half hearted attempts but that’s about it.

KRD's avatar

I tried reconnecting with my friends after they moved and it went well. I have to say @bob_ I haven’t seen you on in a while.

smudges's avatar

Yes. Well, sort of I guess. Finding my bio-mom was a re connection since we were originally connected. That was in 2006 – 50 years almost to the day that we parted. It went well and we’ve stayed in touch on birthdays and holidays.

canidmajor's avatar

Yes, and because of social media it was fairly easy. I joined Facebook about a dozen or so years ago, and found people from all the the stages of my life from all over the place and re-established communication, including seeing in person.
I have been happy to rekindle good friendships that had drifted away.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Yes Yes YES!!! And it was GREAT!!!
I was in a special class in elementary school the early 1960s. At my 50th high school reunion I met 4 other people from that class and we started wondering how our teacher and the other kids were doing. Our teacher is still alive and in his mid-90s!
We divided the names of the missing and each person went out and searched for them . We ended up finding 20 out of the original 25 kids.
Here’s the great part! We held a reunion in LA and 13 people showed up from all over the country! We have been holding Zoom calls with our teacher about 2 or 3 times per year.
So much fun!!!

I reconnected with one of the classmates in SF and stayed at his place a couple of times. It gave me the opportunity to attend a mini-Flutherfest and meet folks from here! Wonderful!

Do it @bob_ !!!

LuckyGuy's avatar

@bob_ Remember, you and they are older and (maybe) a little wiser. You have a shared history. That can immediately make conversation easy.
Do it!!! – And let us now what happens.

Acrylic's avatar

Sure. Not surprisingly it didn’t work. Life went on as normal.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yes and it doesn’t often go well. For me, there’s usually a reason to leave someone in the past. I’d rather keep the good memories, chat on social media occasionally but keep them at arm’s length.

Two are females, drunks still and one is my bio-father.

bob_'s avatar

@LuckyGuy I wasn’t particularly close to the person that inspired this question, we were friends on mIRC literally decades ago, and every now and then I wonder if I could find her. I haven’t, yet.

JLeslie's avatar

@bob_ Try to find her.

My husband is usually reluctant to try to find people or connect on facebook, but then when he does, he always seems to enjoy being back in touch. The friends he grew up with in MX are all over the world now, and he moved a lot even when he was a kid growing up in MX, so he didn’t have the same group of friends for 12 years like other people do. Once he found one or two he started to connect with several more. If you don’t find, if you have a mutual friend that might lead you to her.

gondwanalon's avatar

I tried to contact a woman that I had a romantic relationship with (1990–1991). I thought things were going good then suddenly she said it’s over because, “We are too different”. Of course I knew we were different (that made things interesting) and we got along very well as far as I could tell. I enjoyed our differences but apparently she didn’t. She was a nurse and made far more money than I but I paid for everything including paying off the IRS for her ($7K in back taxes).

Anyway perhaps there was another reason that she wanted to end our relationship. And it could be that she was just using me to get pregnant. I heard through the grapevine that she had a daughter whose age was consistent with 9 months after she left me.

I looked her up on fb and gave her a friend request. She didn’t accept it and put a post saying, “Sometime you just have to turn around, give a little smile, throw the match and burn that bridge”.

That was back in 2014. She hasn’t touched fb since. I can take a hint. HA!

RocketGuy's avatar

We arranged a family trip to Taiwan/Thailand several years ago. My wife brought info to try to contact her dad in Taiwan, whom she hadn’t seen in decades. She was successful! That motivated me to try to find my dad in Thailand, whom I hadn’t seen in decades. Via FB I was able to find my uncle and he was able to contact my dad. We made arrangements to meet in Thailand. => Success!

zenvelo's avatar

My experiences have been similar to @LuckyGuy. he most successful centered around high school reunions, my 20th and my 40th, of which I was on “the Committee”.

For my 40th, I reconnected with a woman I hardly knew when we were teens, we had a wonderful long weekend after meeting up at the reunion, followed by my visiting her a few time in Portland, a thousand miles away.

Another reconnection was a woman who dated a fraternity brother, and twenty years later we ran into each other while on a bike ride with my bike club, we have dated off and on for the last 20 years, she is a dear friend.

jca2's avatar

I have found a bunch of former friends through Facebook. In that way, Facebook has been miraculous for me. I tell my daughter that when I was her age, when people moved away we’d have their phone number and/or address, and if you lost either or you lost touch for some reason, it was very difficult to find people again, until Facebook came along.

I found former babysitters and people I was friends with when I was little. Others are friend from high school . It’s been great. It’s fun to see what people are doing now, and to see their family photos. Some of my friends from school are grandparents now, if they got married or had kids young.

There’s one friend I was hanging out with when I was about 18–20, and then she got married and we lost touch. We reconnected through FB and we were talking about going out for dinner, about 8 years ago. A day before we were supposed to go out, she wrote to me and said her son was going out to a dance or some formal occasion at school and so she had to cancel. I figured ok, the ball is in her court, I won’t ask again. Then about three or four years later, she wrote and said she wanted to go out to dinner. I agreed and we were discussing a date and place, and then a day or two before we were supposed to go out she wrote and someone was sick, I forgot if it was her or her son. Anyway, then this question inspired me to look at her on FB because I haven’t seen any posts from her and I see she unfriended me, which, I have no idea why. I just sent her another friend request. Odd, because we had no bad interactions, just not many interactions at all but nothing negative.

smudges's avatar

This has to be one of the most meant to be reconnects ever:

My “best friend” in high school slept with my then-fiance. I severed the relationship with her, but not with him. About 2 years later my husband and I were at a bar and she walked in. She came to our table, she and I chatted briefly, then agreed to meet the next day, which was Saturday. So we got together, talked things out, and ‘made up’ (I, cautiously…burn me once, shame on you, etc).

We made plans to meet on Monday. Monday came and I found out from her mother that she’d been in a bad accident the night before and was in the hospital. I went to see her and she was in a coma. She lived about another 5 hours, then passed away. She was buried on my birthday, 19 years young. I’m thankful that I had the chance to forgive her, and that she was given the chance to ask for forgiveness. peace, Landa

JLoon's avatar

1) Yes.

2) Because I forgot why we stopped seeing each other.

3) Yes.

4) I returned a phone call.

5) Now I remember why… 0_o

smudges's avatar

^^ LOLOL Too funny!

Forever_Free's avatar

Yes. Some great experiences and some plain flat experiences.

linguaphile's avatar

Like others, I made a few clicks online and reconnected with old friends. My current partner is one of them- 27 years after our first meeting and crushing on each other, we are together.

But actively seeking someone out? I made a huge effort to reconnect with my dad when I was 25. That didn’t go well at all. My stepmom wasn’t having it. I’m in touch with my dad now because my half sister and dad reached out to me 12 years later—that has given me a lot of peace.

Good question, I’ll be thinking about this for a while.

smudges's avatar

^^ Having experienced a family reconnect myself, I’m glad you are finally at peace and able to communicate with your loved ones. That empty space can be huge.

NoMore's avatar

No and no. I’m married for one thing, and for another I don’t think it would go over too well at this late date. She had tried to reconnect with me more than once when I was still single through the efforts of a mutual friend, but that was decades ago. And I deferred . She was married, and I wasn’t up for getting myself shot.

Dig_Dug's avatar

^^She was married and she still wanted to hook up? You must be good! ;)

NoMore's avatar

Her hubby was a jerk and we had always been real close anyway. He got her pregs and her parents forced the marriage.

Dig_Dug's avatar

How did it turn out? Are they still together?

NoMore's avatar

No she she dumped him years sgo.

Dig_Dug's avatar

That’s sad :(
I hope her child turned out okay.

NoMore's avatar

He did: )

zenvelo's avatar

Learned a new term for this yesterday” a “zombie” date.

That is when someone ghosts you but then after a long time being one attempts to “reconnect”.

Dig_Dug's avatar

^^ Must be looking for brains.

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